Expectancy
by Judith Bakkensen
I am pregnant with the
possibility of creating and adjusting my life to fit me again. I am in
partnership with my husband on this. There have been other times that I
have transformed alone. Transformation is a juicy alive time. I am
full to the brim and my ideas wash over me like a spontaneous fountain. I
must have notebooks everywhere. I wish I could write in the shower.
I have impatience for the mundane. Yet I secretly desire to fall back into
routines where I feel totally competent. Luckily, this impatience and
desire for the unknown won't let me.
I love these times of
transformation. I secretly envy others when their worlds turn crazy and
unsure. The colors are brighter. Everything is important because they don't
where the next clue is hiding. This clue that will propel them into the
next safe landing.
I
know safe landings can be an illusion, so I carry them with me. Where is
the safety? I am my biggest safe place. I trust myself. I
trust that my husband is a safe place. I trust that my friends
are a safe place. I carry them with me when I jump.