Trapped in Seattle

by Judith Bakkensen

'Why did I agree to drive to Seattle alone on a dark stormy night? I must be out of my mind. Michael printed off three maps via mapquest. There are no street signs. Everyplace is so dark. Breath, you can't be too lost. There are some lights of open businesses. I'll go into that cleaners.'

"Excuse me, sir. Where is Discovery Park? Five more blocks?! That's not what Mapquest says."

I showed him the map. He looked at it carefully. "Map no good, Go five blocks and you be fine."

'An angel. Only five more blocks. OK. I'm in Discovery Park. It is so dark. Where is the environmental center?' A car is coming toward me and turning into the dark driveway I just passed. I stopped and backed up. 'Other cars, hmm.' I found the women's health conference.

On the way home

'Holy shit! I'm in a turn-only lane. No, I can't get two lanes over. Well, here I go. This rickety bridge can't be legal! Now I'm on the wrong side of the lake. Man, is it dark. I'll just follow these five cars. They are probably going to I-5.'

I was feeling a familiar sense of panic. I remembered driving in circles in Seattle downtown with my children crying in the backseat and I was yelling in the front seat. 'Just keep looking for a blue sign with a big 5 in the middle'. My two-year-old in the car seat had the best view.

'Yes, there is the freeway, way up there, at least one hundred feet overhead. The five cars came to a stop sign and went three different directions. Traitors. Where is this place? Residential, cars parked on both sides, what if a car comes the other direction? I can barely get through here. Oh, I see a street light. I am saved.'

Ten minutes later I stopped and went into a coffee house. I quietly asked the barista, "Excuse me, I'm a tourist from Kent, which way to I-5." Four young people talking at once asking questions and giving directions and I found I-5. It is such a lovely feeling to know I'll get home some day soon.

Day Two

I successfully made it to the conference. In the daylight I could see there were street names two inches high in dark places. I made it home with only two U-turns and where do I turn to get to I-5. I was lucky and I turned left on the correct street since there were no signs at the intersections to I-5.

Day Three

By now I am feeling pretty smug about the whole Discovery Park location adventure. On the way home I hit a brief snag. The light changed and there was no one in front of me. Across the street was room for four lanes of traffic but no lines marking the lanes. I had to go forward when the light changed. 'There are no lanes. Just stay one car width from the left. Hey is that a line? Yes, I think I'm in a lane.'

At the end of the block the light turned red again and I was first in line again, but I could see lines ahead in the intersection for turning. I was feeling pretty good. This is where I turned last night and I found I-5. My last obstacle to leaving Seattle. 'Huh, there is no car beside me, no car on the other side. There own lane.'

Will I ever go back to Seattle? I have decided to take my family and dog to Discovery Park right away before I forget all the hard-won tribal knowledge I gathered on my wanderings. My lessons learned: If you don't live in Seattle, you don't deserve to know where Discovery Park is, what street you are on, where the lanes are or how to get to I-5. That way you won't come to Seattle for a long time and we don't have to spend money on signage and lane markings. All the people I asked for directions were pure angels and really cared that I found my way. Also, Mapquest, no good.